Missionary Work and Parenthood

This week the importance of parenthood has been brought to my attention more so than ever before. I have been thinking a lot about children and motherhood. One thing that came to mind is that parenting is like the ultimate missionary work. For one you have the opportunity to teach the gospel each day. Also by raising children in the gospel the influence you have on your kids can spread to other kids. I thought it was super cool. It just makes me realize how powerful the role of a parent is. Parenthood is such an Amazing and sacred thing. 

Dating

In class we have been talking a lot about marriage prep and dating. I find it fascinating by how off our culture is when it comes to dating. We seem to skip the casual dating step of the process. I don’t understand why we do this it just does not make sense to me. The absence of casual dating is something that has been bothering me a lot in my own dating life. Growing up I was taught to date casually first and to date lots of people, but when I came to college that was not the way things were done here. It seems that people hang out and then skip to the courtship stage forgetting the dating part. Why do we do that? For a while I was so confused it was driving me nuts! I did not understand why someone would try to hold my hand on a first or second date. Or why someone would get upset if I went on one date with one guy on one night and a date with another guy on another night. At one point I thought that something was wrong with me, but now I realize that I was right. We are suppose to date and date lots of people, but for some reason that is not what is going on.  I think it is a real problem and may play a part in why divorce rates are so high. 

Gender Roles

 This week we talked a lot about gender differences. It was quite fascinating. I absolutely loved it. It made me think a lot about not only gender differences but how they have an effect on family. I was thinking about my family and the roles played in my family. As I was talking to a roommate about it I was baffled by the differences in our families. In her family the male was the head of the household and deserved to be treated with respect. In her family you did not dare to talk back to the father. You did not even disagree with something he has stated even if you did so in a respectful manor. Every night the family would wait for the father to come home and approve of the dinner made before they could eat. If he did not approve of the meal the mother and daughters would need to prepare something else. The girls in her family were to help cook and take care of the home while the boys did the yard work or worked. In her family the gender roles were very obvious whereas in mine that is not necessarily the case.  In my house my parent’s seemed to work together as a team neither one was the head. I could talk with my father if I did not agree with him as long as I did so in a respectful manor.  For example if I felt that I should be able to stay out later at night I could sit down and talk to my parents about it and we would come to an agreement.  In my home my dad was a better cook than my mom. While my mom did most of the cooking at times my dad would cook.  My parents also did not separate us having the girls do certain jobs and the boys do others. We all worked together and did more of what personally interest us or we were more skilled with. I find it fascinating how the varying perspective on gender roles with in family make such a big difference in the whole dynamic or make up of an family. It makes me wonder how my perspective will affect my future family and it makes me think about how I want my future family to operate.

Boundaries

                                

              In class we have been talking about boundaries with in a family. There can be Ridged, Permeable/Clear, Poor/Diffused, Affiliation, Over Involvement, and Detouring Boundaries.  A permeable/clear boundary is best because it is balanced it is not too ridged or too open.             

            This weekend has been General Conference. General Conference happens twice a year and it is a time when people from all over the world, gather to hear the Prophet’s voice speak to us. One thing I realized is how great of an example our Father in Heaven is to us on appropriate boundaries. I was thinking about how the Lord gives us the information we need, trusts us to follow him, and lets us make decisions on our own. Heavenly Father has set up permeable boundaries with us. He is not to ridged or too open with us. Our Father in Heaven gives us the perfect example of parenting.  Sometimes he gives us specific step by step directions and guidance, but other times he doesn’t. I realized that the lord doesn’t always tell us exactly what he wants us to do because he wants us to learn to follow the spirit and out own judgment. He wants us to have the freedom to make out own choices.  As a parent it is important to guide children, but at the same time teach them how to make good decisions on their own.