Blended Families

We were talking a lot about blended families. It really made me think about things I have not thought of before. I had not really thought a great deal of the struggles blended families have it was very insightful. I did not realize how challenging it is. It makes me think a lot about what I would do in various situations. We watched so videos on blended families and it really changed my thinking. I feel that because of this week I am more empathetic towards families in this situation than I was before. 

Parenting

We have been talking about parenting styles in class. As we were talking it made me appreciate my parents so much more especially my mom.  My parents raised me with a very good parenting style, which I am grateful for.  One thing I realized is how amazing my mom is and how much she has overcome. My mom grew up in a family where the parents used a vey authoritarian parenting style. It was emotionally abusive. My mom was parented a lot like the parenting exhibited in the movie Tangled. I know my mom has had a lot of emotional baggage from it. I remember watching my mom struggle after talking to her parents. My mom has come along way and she has broken the chain in her family so that my posterity and I will not have to suffer as she did. I realized how amazing it is that my mom broke that chain and that she doesn’t have a lot of problems which can come with growing up in that.  I called my mom to tell her how much I love her and how thankful I am for all that she has done and over come. We were both crying on the phone it was a very tender moment. It meant so much to my mom to hear that. I have always told my mom that I love and appreciate her but now I am able to understand a little better what she went through and how hard it has been for her. 

Family Council

In class we talked a lot about family council. This is something I am very passionate about. I grew up in a family that had Family Council every sunday. Looking back I really appreciate that my family held Family council each week. I feel like it really blessed and unified my family.  To me Family Council gave me the eternal perspective that as a family we are a team all working together to the same goal.   In reality as families we are working together to get to the Celestial kingdom so that we can be together forever. One thing I have realized is that it is in the family unit we learn to become more like Christ. We learn Faith, Patience, hope, love charity, service, kindness and so much more. That is why the family is so important.  I feel like Family council is my family’s way of making sure we are all on the same track headed in the same direction. 

I know when my Dad first started family council I thought it was just another silly thing he had cooked up for us to do that would die after a few weeks. But we actually kept with it. Now I’m glad for it, but there were times when I got annoyed with it growing up because there were other things I wanted to do rather than to sit down with my family, plan out our week and talk about how we can improve as a family.  Haha oh man I remember times when I would get so upset with my dad because he pointed out something or another that I needed to do better on. And Of course though I’d hate to admit it, but he was always right. (He really doesn’t need to hear that though I don’t wanna boost his ego…lol just kidding)  It was nice to be able to feel like I had a say on family matters though. Like if I felt we needed to work on something or if something was bothering me I knew that I could talk about it in family council.  Even if it was that I was upset because I felt like I was getting picked on a teased too much or that I felt like we shouldn’t be watching so much TV on Sunday I knew I could bring it. Until now I didn’t realize that a lot of families aren’t like that.  From taking to roommates and friends I have realized how nice it was to be able to have a say in family matters and how blessed I was to have parents who were willing to hear me out and take my thoughts and feelings in to account.  It really brought me closer to my family and my parents. I always told my parents everything that was going on in my life, because I knew I could trust them no mater what even If I had done something really wrong I knew that they loved me anyway and would help me through. I never kept any secrets from my parents like my friends did. I didn’t feel like I needed to, because my parents were so open with me I was open with them. I think it really set a tone of openness in my family and of trust.

Family Crisis

In class we have been talking about family crisis. As I was looking back on my family and the people around me I found that it seems that the families who came out on top were the ones who had a good attitude or outlook on the issue. It seems to me that it matters less about what the crisis is and more about how the family looks at the issue. I have seen people that had a huge crisis come out of it better than families with a smaller crisis.  When we looked at coping mechanisms used it made me really grateful for the family I have. I recognized that for the most part my parents set a pattern or appropriate coping mechanisms in my family.  When we were really struggling my parent held things together really well. 

Changes

This week we talked about affair prevention and many things were brought to my attention that I had not thought of before. I had not thought about how my relationships with friends would change or how I am going to have to change some of my behaviors when I am married. To me hello and goodbye are said with a hug. In class I realized that I am going to have to change that, because I can go around hugging every guy I come in contact with. I am really close with my friends, most of whom are guys, and we say I love you to each other. I don’t know why but it just hit me that I won’t be able to do that when I am married, seems obvious but it just hit me.  The interesting thing is that when we are married we need to separate ourselves in some ways from our friends yet when that occurs people see you as terrible and give you a hard time about it. I often hear people complain about how once a friend started dating someone or once they go married their friend treats them differently. While people act as if this is wrong in reality it is the way it is suppose to be. 

Missionary Work and Parenthood

This week the importance of parenthood has been brought to my attention more so than ever before. I have been thinking a lot about children and motherhood. One thing that came to mind is that parenting is like the ultimate missionary work. For one you have the opportunity to teach the gospel each day. Also by raising children in the gospel the influence you have on your kids can spread to other kids. I thought it was super cool. It just makes me realize how powerful the role of a parent is. Parenthood is such an Amazing and sacred thing. 

Dating

In class we have been talking a lot about marriage prep and dating. I find it fascinating by how off our culture is when it comes to dating. We seem to skip the casual dating step of the process. I don’t understand why we do this it just does not make sense to me. The absence of casual dating is something that has been bothering me a lot in my own dating life. Growing up I was taught to date casually first and to date lots of people, but when I came to college that was not the way things were done here. It seems that people hang out and then skip to the courtship stage forgetting the dating part. Why do we do that? For a while I was so confused it was driving me nuts! I did not understand why someone would try to hold my hand on a first or second date. Or why someone would get upset if I went on one date with one guy on one night and a date with another guy on another night. At one point I thought that something was wrong with me, but now I realize that I was right. We are suppose to date and date lots of people, but for some reason that is not what is going on.  I think it is a real problem and may play a part in why divorce rates are so high.